Conservative brutally mocks Trump’s sleeping habits in scathing parody

When President Donald Trump is sending social media posts nonstop during the wee hours, critics often ask: Shouldn't someone with a job as demanding as president of the United States be getting more sleep?

One of those critics is Never Trump conservative Bill Kristol. In a humorous but biting parody published by The Bulwark on April 29, Kristol portrays Trump and mockingly offers some possible reasons why he might have problems sleeping.

"Christ. It's four in the morning, and I can’t get back to sleep," Kristol writes. "I dunno why. I mean, that state dinner for King Charles went fine. And I still look good in white tie! So why can’t I get back to sleep? I'm getting like that goddamn Macbeth in that play Ivanka made me see. Macbeth was a tough guy. I liked him. But I guess it didn't end well. I gotta be honest. I do know why I can't sleep."

Kristol continues, "For one thing, the dinner was OK, but I knew all along what the King was thinking: 'Really? This is the best they can do?' A 'state dinner'? The King doesn't have state dinners. He throws state banquets. And he doesn't live in some run-down White House with 132 rooms. He lives in Buckingham Palace. A palace. With 775 goddamn rooms. And I can't even get a ballroom added to this dump."

The Never Trumper, a frequent guest on MS NOW, goes on to parody other things Trump might be worrying about in the wee hours.

"If you're king, you can ignore Congress," Kristol writes. "And you can ignore the polls. And now, they tell me there's a new poll that shows 17 percent of my voters say they regret their vote. And they say the war with Iran was the number-one reason, followed by the economy. Well, s––. Those are connected! Look at the goddamn gas prices….

The Iran thing, that's the real reason I can't sleep. What the hell am I going to do?"

Kristol continues, "I gotta get out of there…. Am I becoming Jimmy Carter? Am I becoming Jimmy F–– Peanut Farming Carter? That's like the opposite of being a king. I gotta get out. But I can't look weak. Gotta look tough…. Venezuela was so great. But then this thing! I can't believe I let Hegseth talk me into it. Gonna get rid of him, too. JD's a slippery character, but I gotta admit, he was right about Iran."

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